Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

My waist finally looks like how it did before I had kids but I didn’t lose weight. Why am I still 15 lbs from my starting weight?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why does a college girl cover her face with a scarf in Bangalore?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What made you feel disgusted today?

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Ananda Lewis, Celebrated MTV VJ, Dead at 52 - Rolling Stone

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Is the Philippines PH a poor 3rd world or 4th world country forever and forever?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What should I do to stop being angered easily?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What's a memory from your childhood that shaped who you are today?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

I can count

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

How do you handle your mother-in-law after you heard her talking badly about you in the next room?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why do humans sweat while stressed?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can read

Chemists find a surprisingly simple way to remove microplastics from tap water - Earth.com

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What would happen if Kakashi and Naruto switched places?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Oracle Stock Jumps On Earnings Beat, Upbeat Cloud Growth Forecast - Investor's Business Daily

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I see through liars

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fakery

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened